Mostpeoplelearnovertime,butoftenlearningcomestoolatetobefullyuseful.TherearecertainlymanythingsthatIknownowthatwouldhavebeenextremelyusefultomeearlierinmylife;thingsthatcouldhavesavedmefrommanyofthemistakesandhurtsIsufferedovertheyears—andmostofthosethatIinflictedonotherstoo.
Idon’tbuytheromanticnotionthatmylifehasbeensomehowricherormoreinterestingbecauseofallthetimesIscrewedup;northatthemistakeswere“put”theretohelpmelearn.Imadethemmyself—throughignorance,fear,andadumbwishtohaveeveryonelikeme—andlifeandworkwouldhavebeenlessstressfulandmoreenjoyable(andcertainlymoresuccessful)withoutthem.SoherearesomeofthethingsIwishIhadlearnedlongago.IhopetheymayhelpafewofyouavoidthemistakesthatImadebackthen.
1.Mostofitdoesn’tmatter.SomuchofwhatIgotexcitedabout,anxiousabout,orwastedmytimeandenergyon,turnedoutnottomatter.Thereareonlyafewthingsthattrulycountforahappylife.IwishIhadknowntoconcentrateonthoseandignoretherest.
2.Thegreatestsourceofmiseryandhatredinthisworldisclingingtopasthurts.Lookatalltheterroristsandmilitantgroupsthatharkbacktosomeeventlonggone,orbasetheirjustificationforkillingonclaimsofsomesupposedhistoricalrighttoabitofland,orredressforawrongdonehundredsofyearsago.
3.Waitingtodosomethinguntilyoucanbesureofdoingitexactlyrightmeanswaitingforever.Oneofthegreatestadvantagesanyonecanhaveisthewillingnesstomakeafoolofthemselvespubliclyandoften.There’snobetterwaytolearnanddevelop.Heck,it’sfuntoo.
4.Followingthelatestfashion,inworkorinlife,isspiritualandintellectualsuicide.Youcanbeacheapimitationoftheidealofthemoment;oryoucanbeauniqueindividual.Thechoiceisyours.Religionisn’ttheopiateofthemasses,fashionis.
5.Ifpeoplecomplainthatyou’retoofondofgoingyourownwayandaren’tfittingin,youmustbeontherighttrack.Whowantstolivelifeasaherdanimal?Theguysinpowerdon’twantyoutofitinforyourownsake;theywantyoutostopcausingthemproblemsandfollowtheirorders.Youcan’thavethefreedomtobeyourselfandmeeklyfitinatthesametime.
6.Ifyoumakeyourworkyourlife,you’remakingyourlifeintohardwork.Likemostpeople,Iconfusedmyselfbylookingatpeoplelikeartistsandmusicianswhoselife’s“work”fillstheirtime.Thatisn’twork.It’swhotheyare.Unlessyouhavesomeoverwhelmingpassionthatalsohappenstoallowyoutoearnalivingdoingit,alwaysrememberthatworkshouldbeameanstoanend:livinganenjoyablelife.Spendaslittletimeonthemeansaspossibleconsistentwithachievingtheend.Onlyidiotslivetowork.
7.Thequickestandsimplestwaytowreckanyrelationshipistolistentogossip.Theworstwaytospendyourtimeisspreadingmore.Peoplewhospreadgossiparetheplague-carriersofourday.Cockroachesareclean,kindlycreaturesincomparison.
8.Tryingtopleaseotherpeopleislargelyafutileactivity.Everyonewillbemadatyousometime.Mostofthepeopleyoudealwithwilldislike,disparage,belittle,orignorewhatyousayordomostofthetime.Besides,youcanneverreallyknowwhatothersdowant,soagooddealofwhateveryoudointhatregardwillgotowaste.Becomforted.Thosewholoveyouwillprobablyloveyouregardless,andtheyaretheoneswhoseopinionsareworthcaringabout.Therestaren’tworthfiveminutesofthoughtbetweenthem.
9.Everywinnerisdestinedtobealoserinduecourse.It’sgreattobeuponthewinner’spodium.Justdon’timagineyoucanstaythereforever.Worstofallisbeingdeterminedtodoso,byanymeansavailable.
10.Youcanrarely,ifever,please,placate,change,ormollifyanasshole.Thebestthingyoucandoisstayawayfromeveryoneyouencounter.Beinganassholeisacontagiousdisease.Themoretimeyouspendaroundone,themorelikelyyouaretocatchitandbecomeonetoo.
11.Everythingtakestwiceaslongasyouplanforandproducesresultsabouthalfasgoodasyouhoped.There’snoreasontobedownheartedaboutthis.Justallowforitandmoveon.
12.Peopleareoddlyconsistent.Liarsusuallytelllies.Cheaterscheatwheneveritsuitsthem.Apersonwhoconfidesinyouhasusuallyconfidedinseveralothersfirst—butnotgottheresponsetheywanted.Aloyalfriendwillstayloyalunderenormousamountsofthoughtlessabuse.
13.Howeverhardyoutry,youcan’tavoidbeingyourself.Whoelsecouldyoube?Youcanactandpretend,butthepersonactingandpretendingisstillyou.Andifyouwon’tacceptyourself—anddothebestyoucanwithwhatyouhave—whothenhasanyobligationtoacceptyou?
14.Whenitcomestoblatantlies,therearenonemoreegregiousthanbudgetfigures.Timespentagonizingoverthemistimewasted.Evenif(miracleofmiracles!)yoursarehonestandaccurate,nooneelsewillhavebeensofoolish.
15.Theloudestnoiseintheworldisthesoundofpeoplewhining.Don’taddtoit.